There are lots of reasons to stay married even when the relationship is not going well.  However, there are risks to staying in too long.  Here are some reasons.

1) Your spouse is more likely to steal

2) Both of you are more likely to be unfaithful

3) Longer marriages can lead to longer spousal support

4) Trust dissipates

5) Domestic violence is more likely

6) The level of animosity may increase

7) Your spouse may be waiting to start a divorce when circumstances favor her and not you.

Shaw Law Group attorneys fight battles that could have been avoided.  If you are considering divorce meet with us so that we can help you avoid these and the other pitfalls of divorce.

4 MEDIATION FAQS IN DIVORCE & CUSTODY

• WHAT is mediation? – Mediation in divorce and custody cases is a meeting between the plaintiff, defendant, and a mediator.  It can be used to resolve all issues including custody, support and property division.
• WHEN should it be done? – Mediation can be done before or after filing and even after the case is over if new issues arise.
• WHO should do it? - The Mediator Matters! The mediator is a neutral person that tries to find issues that can be resolved by agreement or compromise. Most of the time, the mediator’s role is not to pass judgment on a party’s legal argument or to decided what is true and what is not true.
• WHAT can your lawyer do to make sure that you get the best result possible at mediation?  Your lawyer can make sure you are prepared, you are protected, you have selected the right mediator and that you have selected the right time in the case to utilize it.

The ADAM attorneys at Shaw Law Group routinely use mediation to get their clients fair resolutions to their divorce and custody matters. Please call 616-827-ADAM to see if your case would benefit from the use of mediation.

We frequently are asked if it is best to wait and let one’s spouse file the divorce first. There are many considerations we look at before making a recommendation but there is one reason that can strongly suggest that filing first would be beneficial. That reason is EX-PARTE Orders.

Ex-parte orders are orders the court enters without notice to the other party. The court can use this power to set custody, parenting time, and restraints on the use of assets including cars, homes, bank accounts and business assets. These orders are more common at the beginning of cases because it is more difficult to make contact with an unrepresented party.

5 THINGS A DIVORCING DAD NEEDS TO KNOW

1. Your child needs you.  This is particularly true when parents aren’t getting along.  Separation from your wife might be a blessing to your children, but don’t leave them until you can be certain that they will have the time with you that they need.  If she leaves and is keeping them from you, you must act quickly for their sake.
2. After custody is set, even on a temporary basis, it is hard to change.  Don’t get fooled by an attorney that tells you that you can always go back later and get more time with your kids.
3. Do not be intimidated by the court.  The court may not be as fair to you as you deserve but it may be fairer to you than your ex-wife.
4. Don’t take legal advice from your wife.  Even in the most amicable divorces, it is possible that she will lie to you for her benefit.
5. The divorce process can start fast.  For example, in Kent County, in as few as 7 days, you could be standing in front of a Judge arguing about how much time you get to spend with your children.  If there is any chance that your wife will file for divorce before you do, you must plan ahead to make sure you are ready for it.

 If you are a dad and you want the best legal help for you, call an A.D.A.M attorney today.

Men have and will, at times, face discrimination in West Michigan courts when they assert their rights to pursue joint or sole physical custody.  The judges and friend of the court workers that perpetuate the discrimination often don't  realize that they are discriminating.  That is because many people are very susceptible to unconscious/ implicit bias.  At a recent seminar, Blind Spots: How to Avoid Poor Decisions and Bad Outcomes, the presenter, Kimberly Papillon, artfully demonstrated how people have unconscious/ implicit bias. She further made the case that those of us that rely on our biases are hurting ourselves and those around us.  Ms. Papillon's remarks mostly dealt with hiring decisions and she made a strong argument that those that use bias in hiring decisions limit their hiring pools in detrimental ways.  The manner in which men are discriminated against in family law cases is analogous.  When judges and friend of the court workers unconsciously/ implicitly see men as financial providers and women as care providers, then, of course, they generally decide that women should have primary custody and men should pay support.  But men in many custody matters are care providers and, frequently, should have joint or full custody.  Unfortunately, men must fight against the unconscious/ implicit bias that disfavors them and favors the woman.  When they do, they need a firm that will acknowledge that bias exists and has tools to fight it.  They can find the attorneys they need at Shaw Law Group, West Michigan's A.D.A.M. Firm.